# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
