Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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