she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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