I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
