At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
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