Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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