i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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