he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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