I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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