Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
