you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The adults are the big ones right?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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