You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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