you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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