I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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