Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
