i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
