So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
