you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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