After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This is the high leading the old right now
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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