but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
