I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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