just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sorry my hands just texted you
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
