No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Screwed.edu
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
