I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
