the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
