so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
