gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
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