Please, let me fuck your mom
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
