is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
