While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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