Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
