pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
