Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
