so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize