WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
