ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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