I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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