i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
