Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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