ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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