Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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