Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
