READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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