I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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