I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
can u get pink eye on your cock?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
