Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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