just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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