I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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