It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
