cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
