I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
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please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
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