help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
