He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
