am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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