Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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